inwardly becoming
whom both I desire and despise
I find the respite of life
somewhere beyond my means
the damage i wage upon myself
physically and spiritually
keeps me backwardsly balancedshould I fall permamanently
or just to sleep for the momentonly seems to matter
when placed in the children's eyes.when I do wake
sometimes the tide is with me
often the tide is notat bay, continously
I can feel something more
but don't know where to find it.for now I accept the moment
the moments pass not forward
but circle aroundendless spirals.