Regrets

I sincerely regret
all I have ever done to hurt you.
I also regret
all you had done that hurt me so
that I in turn hurt you.
The seed we planted
of our love,
was stillborn.
praise the powers
that out children were not.
Yet you have torn them from me.
They grow and prosper
their teachers tell me how they shine
as students and citizens
of classrooms I cannot see
in a city I do not know.
I hear
the changes in their voices,
not only the growth
but the ageing
and the hardening
of the situations
we have thrust upon them
unsuspecting, yet still loving
us.
Yes, me too, although this
is something you deny
as you deny even a decent word
to me.
I regret
that we cannot
nor ever will
seemingly
grow past this.
I also regret
my situation.
The lack of finances
and grounding
that will not allow
them to grace me
where I live
and regrets
for the lack of will
to give up all my dreams
to move
and be in their presence
(as the courts allow)
in a place
that I can do nothing more
than exist.

This is not not
the life I desired
or had ever imagined
for us and them.

I regret
that with all the love
we had in our lives
it was not enough
to see us through.