Queerness

I find it queer
that so many folks
make such a big deal
about sexual orientation

I'll admit, there was a time
post-pre-pubescent
that I had wondered
which side of the line
I stood, if not
even straddling it

But once I had my hands
on a pair of fully developed breasts
at the age of fifteen
I knew then that there was no going back

I've had gay friends all my life
I know the lifestyles
the looks, the atitudes
I have no problems

the other week
working on a Mac
at a client site
while talking casually with the client
he said
"yeah, me and my boyfriend..."
and his voice trailed for a moment
and when he saw that I didn't flinch
he continued our conversation
and I of course
was not un-nerved
other than the fact
that being un-nerved
was expected

I found out that he used to be a cop
and since he move here
the Atlanta police have been trying to recruit him
as they quietly recruit gays
to which Gary said was strange
that since anal sex is still a felony in this state
that they would be recruiting a known felon

and the burden of proof is upon the accused
because
just cause and suspicion
is enough
to warrant a warrant
and possibly an arrest

for the pre-supposition
that behind closed door
a dick is up someones ass

and I thought
to myself

of those whom
through the centuries
have engaged in anal sex
and I have realized
that anyone
with an asshole
is suspect

and it takes just a single asshole
to have a suspicion
to say the wrong thing
to the wrong person
at the wrong time
and ruin
a career
a life
a space
someone has created
to live within

and ultimately
I think
that being
not fucking
an asshole
ought to be
the offense
the felony
the crime
against god
or humanity
or whatever the fuck
you believe in
or subscribe to

My friend John
a closeted ex-marine
whom I met at work
told me that when
they were considering
to hire me, they had wondered
if I was gay and were questioning
whether they should not hire me
on that basis.

And John
(who most would never guess was gay)
said to them
and I quote:

"What difference does it make? Is he qualified?"
Thank you John

and yes, I have feminine qualities
and many a gay/lesbian friend has commented
that maybe I'm just a denial closet case
and to them
I pose the same question
I pose to others
that why
should what I or anyone else
does sexually
when in love or in lust
matter
at all?

I find the whole
argument
conversation
fascination
extremely
queer.

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