MEMORIES
like blind corpses
stumbling
they fall on me
smother me with their rank embrace
kiss my eyes with rancid lips
fingers of bone and rag
probe my most secret places
and leave me violated.the residue of their sick love
never washes off.(11/22/1995)
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"The Tripidia Years" (Chapel Hill, North Carolina, 1984-1986)1) If
I had Stayed
The Way I Was
Before I Did
The Butterfly Thing
I would be
Dead
By Now.2) A Love of Dinosaurs
Does not help one
Prepare
For the Teeth.3) Sometimes my Arms
Want to Go Away.4) The Wall around my Heart
Has many Windows-
They look on Different Worlds.
I can See No-one
Looking Back.5) TEDDY-GLOWKID-HOMEGROWN
-TRIPIDIA CHICKS-FLUFFYtheCAT-
WILD WONDERFUL RAMPAGE WOMEN
-SEXANDDRUGSANDROCKANDROLL-
WHY GO HOME?6) Dear John...
Shutter Snap-
Black and White
Mentor Magic Developing
The Angst-Ridden Leading
The Blind
(But not Deaf or Dumb).7) Earth, Air, Fire, Water...
Combine without Blending
Into a Patchwork Quilt
(Full of Holes)
To wrap around Me.Just Enough
To Block the Wind
But not Enough
To keep out the Cold.8) please love me.
9) Brother Sid says the Strangest Things
Sometimes.I know he's Just Around the Corner
If only I can
STARE
Hard Enough.
(sometimesifeellikeimgoingtoexploderightupoutofmyhead)10) I am a Strange Flower
Rooted
with Tentative Tendrils
that hurt
when I am Pulled Up
Transplanted
with no tears to water me.(4/29/1996)
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DREAMS (RECURRING)
Almost always it is too dark to see properly.
Something is lost--I wander, stumble, dig through endless piles of trash.
I need to be somewhere, and I can't get my shit together.
I am visiting my old home, and I can never find my old friends.
A huge grey balloon is pressing down on me;
I am an insignificant child in a room full of immense, dreadfully heavy
machinery.I am playing in a tree-filled park with many other children,
when the Magic 8-Ball in the corner
tells me I am going to die.I am going blind.
My teeth crumble to pieces in my mouth.
Someone I once loved is trying to hurt me.
(imgoingtorapeyoutillyoubleed)Something for which I am totally responsible
is going horribly, horribly wrong.I am falling from a great height.
I am underwater, breathing normally.
I am flying, and no-one believes me.
(5/15/1996)
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